This morning, on one of my Instagram posts, somebody wrote: “I wish I could find a husband who danced tango” – with an accompanying sad emoji.
It made me stop to think. Yes, I am very lucky. I now take it for granted but of course it is wonderful to have a husband who dances tango. Not only because I love dancing with him but also because we share this passion together.
Plus, it means we will never run out of conversation … even when our kids grow up and leave home!
I do need to pinch myself. Because if I cast my mind back 17 years, I vividly remember thinking how impossible it would be to find a tango dance partner. There just seemed to be too many stars that would need to be aligned for it all to work out.
My husband is an eternal optimist. I don’t like to think of myself as a pessimist. I often insist to David that I am a realist, not a pessimist. But then how do I explain that my “reality” turned out so different to my prediction:
I found my perfect dance partner, who I’m also compatible with as a teaching partner and as a life partner.
The impossible can happen.
Do You Really Wish Your Husband Danced Tango?
But let me be straight with you. I think I could have been just as happy if my life partner didn’t dance tango.
If I made a list of all the qualities I love about David, being a good tango dancer would actually be quite far down. Tango nourishes the soul but when you share a life together, you need a hell of a lot more than that.
And needless to say the beautiful dancer who steals your heart at 3 am on the dance floor might not be all that he/she seems in the cold light of day.
As you can imagine falling for a fellow tanguero/a is not always sunshine and roses.
It can be tricky when your partner loves tango. How comfortable are you with the idea of them dancing with other people? And how will they feel when you want to dance with other people? Plenty of people are completely fine with this, but each couple is unique.
Tango chemistry will happen with many different dance partners and it is a wonderful thing. More often than not, it has very little to do with physical attraction or real-life compatibility. Yet, it can be difficult for your life partner to cope with.
The dream can fall apart and then you have deal with the fact that you and your ex are very likely to run into each other in the same tango clubs.
Many of my friends, colleagues and students are completely happy to have tango as a boyfriend/girlfriend-free zone. It can be much more simple that way. And while their partners are off pursuing their own hobbies, they can happily enjoy theirs, stress-free.
The Happy Tango Couples
But as always there is another side of the story. We’ve seen many students fall in love in our classes, and even get married and have babies. In fact we’re attending the wedding of two tango students next Saturday. They actually didn’t meet through tango, rather he took up tango because he wanted to be part of her passion. There are so many different stories, and each one of them unique.
So whether you find love on the dance floor or simply a love of dance, I wish you peaceful harmony on your journey and many happy tango connections.